I’ve skipped the same recurring task on my to-do list for the last six weeks.
This thing isn’t integral to anything else in my life. It was an interesting idea I got from a book. But when the time comes around to get it done, I make every (bad) excuse under the sun to skip it.
Today I looked at this task and asked myself, ‘If I’m creating resistance to this thing, if I’m I’m causing myself mild psychological stress every week by failing to accomplish it, why is it there?’
There is usually a positive intent behind these dropped tasks. If we did them, they would, for the most part, benefit us in some way. But if we are honest, they become burdensome. They become what I call ‘optional beneficial chores’ (or OBCs).
If this is sounding familiar to you, it may be helpful to go back and ask yourself why you set the task in the first place. Were you enamoured with the idea of doing something and the reality didn’t quite map to your expectation? I had this experience when I signed up to a woodworking class. I had a picture in my head of making furniture for the home, basking in the satisfaction of beautiful objects I crafted with my own two hands. The reality was that I didn’t enjoy it all that much. After the first few sessions, I found myself thinking up excuses not to go to class. So I stopped.
‘Optional’ is the operative word when considering dropping an OBC. If something is genuinely mission critical for your health, your craft, your purpose, or the happiness of your loved ones, then you might want to explore some compliance strategies to help you get it done. Sometimes we have to suck it up and find a way to accomplish our ‘mandatory chores.’
Another option in this situation could be to explore alternatives that achieve the same end result but would perhaps be more palatable. For instance, the number of people I’ve spoken to who dislike running but have convinced themselves they “should” is astonishing. There are countless movement practices which have many of the same benefits that people might actually enjoy!
This exercise one of honest prioritisation. I don’t buy most people stories of being “too busy.” Busy is a decision. We do the things we want to do. We preference one thing over another. Busy is shorthand for “not important enough.” You don’t find the time to do something; you make the time to do things.
The offer here is to take inventory of all the OBCs you’ve created for yourself. Think about the intent behind setting them, the nature of your resistance to doing them, and where you could enhance your life by dropping them or replacing them with something more to your liking.